Thursday, May 14, 2009

Conversation with a masseur

Went to a tier-3 Chinese city for a business trip. Very decent hotel, surprisingly. Exhausted from 10 hours of meetings from day to night. Went for a massage in the hotel. This is the conversation

(Get out of the elevator, approach the spa front desk)
Man: How can I help?
Me: Want to have a massage please
Man: You want woman massage, or normal clean massage?
Me: (....) normal massage please
Woman: What does he want?
Man: He wants clean massage
Me: (waiting)
Me: (re-emphasizing) I actually called from my room, and tried to book a masseur for a body massage here. A male masseur will do, thanks
Man: OK please come
(Brought to massage room. There's a massage bed, and a normal bed. A drawer next to it. Tempted to see what's inside the drawer. Opened it...and found nothing - or no what I expect to be inside. Looked at mirror in the room. Wondered what action happened here. Slightly disturbed. Waited for more than 5 minutes. 3 "woman masseurs" with incredibly low cut dresses paced outside the room. Finally, my masseur came)

Masseur: How are you
Me: Good
Me: (2 minutes into the massage) I have a question. So, how come they ask publicly at the reception whether you want "woman massage"?
Masseur: It's very common. Woman massage with full service
Me: Isnt it illegal? Dont police come raid it?
Masseur: No. Perfectly OK. Even policemen come visit. It's very common in smaller Chinese city like this one. Everyone knows, it's just another service from the hotel
Me: (....) In Shanghai many years ago, I know there are "services" too, but instead of offering publicly in the hotel spa, they call your room and ask
Masseur: No they dont do that anymore. Hotel wont let them. It will disturb the guest. Better to have the guests call them, when they want it
Me: How much is it anyways?
Masseur: RMB600 if in your own room; RMB560 if here. Full service price
Me: OMG! And you charge RMB288 for my normal massage!
Masseur: Well RMB288 is only mid-range. There are more expensive places for massage in the city
Me: How do you "order" from your room?
Masseur: If you want to do it in the room, they will bring 2 girls at a time for you to see. We will keep sending them up until you decide
Me: How much do the girls make?
Masseur: RMB12000 a month. Sometimes up to 40000
Me: (Paused, working through the numbers in my head) That means...20 times a month! Once every day! And if its 40000, thats 3 times a day!
Masseur: Sometimes they have 6 guests a day
Me: 6?! Can they physically take it?
Masseur: Well they all have some "special skills"
Me: (....) Do you think they are beautiful?
Masseur: Quite. Esp. with the makeup on. You know, we are co-workers. We see them all the time when we are resting. But once you get to know them, they are no different. Just making a living
Me: Indeed
Me: So what is more popular service: normal or woman massage?
Masseur: Half half. You are from HK, right? Judging from accent. HK people usually come for normal massage. They are too exhausted to have woman massage, I guess. Local Chinese businessmen more frequently ask for woman massage
Masseur: Can I ask a question? Is housing in HK really expensive?
Me: Yes...why ask?
Masseur: My HK guests always complain to me that they are under a lot of pressure...to afford a place in HK. They said a 500 sqft flat will cost HK$2-3m. And they put a whole family of 4 in there. Is that right?
Me: Yes. Well 500 sqft for 4 is not that bad by HK standard
Masseur: There's no farmland in HK?
Me: No...why?
Masseur: That's why people are under a lot of stress. They cant go back to their own village or birthplace to return to farming, etc. I can always do that; go back to Hunan where I am from, and not worry about living
Me: That's nice. We dont have that luxury in HK

(Massage done. Felt asleep half way)
Masseur: Thank you. We are done
Me: Thanks
Masseur: So do you want to try our woman massage? They are all very pretty. I can take a few in here for you to see
Me: No thank you (....)

1 comment:

Betty said...

hahahhahahhahaah, you should write more about this instead of art stuff!